In a conversation recently I was posed this question; “Why do people work on it (changing behavior patterns) for a little while, and then think they are better; only to fall back into the same old patterns? Can anyone really change?” It’s a fair question, and the result is one that plays itself out in lives over and over again. You probably either know someone like this, or feel like it’s you. I’ve done it too.
We live in a society today, especially here in the US, where everything is instant. I remember when I was growing up, my mom would make dinner for the family almost every evening. And often it would take an hour or more to to prepare everything; probably longer if you factored in the thought that went into it beforehand. Today, I can toss a prepared meal from the freezer into the microwave and have something that’s almost as flavorful in about five minutes; eliminating nearly all the personal effort. We have come to expect everything yesterday. So it makes sense that we give up before the process of personal development has had time to create any lasting effect.
Life is a process. And we develop over time. When we are growing up, we learn from our environment. We take on the habits and lifestyles of our mentors (parents). As adults we simply mimic what we’ve learned. (Monkey see, monkey do.) So, when at 45 years old, our marriage is crumbling, and our spouse is telling us that ‘the way you do that is not working‘; we say that we’ve ‘always done it that way.‘ However, 45 years of observing and then recreating a certain pattern doesn’t go away in two weeks, two steps, or two sessions. As the saying goes, Revelation is not transformation. The process of change is a long, sustained, deliberate, intentional effort to first unlearn, and then re-learn. It is truly a Daily Life Journey. Yes, you can change. But it won’t happen over night. And you have to want it, and believe it is possible.